The goal shouldn’t be to monitor every private thought a young person has.
The goal should be to make sure they know they have somewhere safe to turn when something serious happens.
What My Daughter Learned That Day
Later that evening, after her friend had gone home, my daughter came into the kitchen.
She sat down beside me.
“Mom,” she said, “I feel bad for him.”
“I know.”
“He was trying to act normal the whole time.”
I nodded.
Then she said something that stayed with me.
“I didn’t know people could be having something really bad happen and still be laughing.”
That was perhaps the most important lesson of the entire afternoon.
We often assume we know how someone is doing because of how they behave.
Someone smiles, so we assume they’re happy.
Someone jokes, so we assume they’re fine.
Someone says “nothing’s wrong,” so we accept it.
But people are complicated.
