She shrugged.
“I’m your twin.”
I laughed.
“That’s not a superpower.”
“It is when you’re me.”
Those were the kinds of conversations we had.
Simple.
Silly.
Ordinary.
I didn’t realize how precious ordinary was until it disappeared.
The Night Everything Changed
Ten years ago, Clara was driving home late at night.
It had been raining.
The highway was dark and isolated.
She was supposed to call me when she arrived.
She never did.
At first, I wasn’t worried.
Then midnight passed.
Then one in the morning.
Then my phone rang.
I still remember the sound of my mother’s voice.
I knew something was wrong before she said Clara’s name.
There had been an accident.
Her car had gone off the road and down a steep embankment.
By the time emergency crews reached the vehicle, it had caught fire.
The authorities told us the crash had been severe.
There was very little left to recover.
The investigation concluded that Clara had lost control of the vehicle.
There was no evidence of another car being involved.
No witnesses.
No clear explanation for why she had suddenly left the road.
But the conclusion was accepted.
An accident.
A terrible, senseless accident.
We held a closed-casket funeral.
I remember standing beside my parents while people talked about Clara as though she were already part of the past.
“She was so young.”
“She had such a bright future.”
“She’ll always be with you.”
I hated that last sentence.
Because she wasn’t with me.
She was gone.
And I wanted her back.
Learning to Live Without Her
The first year was unbearable.
The second wasn’t much easier.
I avoided places where we’d gone together.
I stopped listening to certain songs.
I couldn’t look at old photographs without feeling like someone had punched me in the chest.
There were moments when I’d instinctively reach for my phone to call her.
Then I’d remember.
Clara was dead.
Eventually, I went to therapy.
It took years.
I learned that grief wasn’t something I could defeat.
I had to learn how to carry it.
Eventually, I moved to another town.
I found a quiet job.
I made new friends.
I built a small life.
It wasn’t the life Clara and I had imagined.
But it was mine.
And although I still thought about her every day, the memories eventually stopped feeling like open wounds.
I could look at photographs.
I could tell stories.