On my wedding night I hid under the bed to surprise my husband. His mother came in instead, sat down on the mattress above me, and put a call on speaker.

But they will also inherit the story of your relationship.

Money cannot rewrite that story.

Sometimes parents decide that their estate should reflect the reality of the relationship. Other parents leave something behind because they want to keep a door open, even if reconciliation never happens.

Neither decision should be made casually.

Before You Change Your Will

If you are considering disinheriting an estranged child, consider taking these steps:

First, check the law. Find out whether children have protected inheritance rights where you live.

Second, review your entire estate. Your will may not control every asset.

Third, consider your other beneficiaries. A change affecting one child can have consequences for others.

Fourth, separate anger from planning. Give yourself time before making an irreversible decision.

Fifth, obtain professional advice. An estate-planning lawyer, notary, or other qualified professional familiar with your jurisdiction can explain your actual options.

Finally, think about what you want your estate to say about you.