When people describe Kaleb, words such as courageous, resilient, optimistic, and inspiring frequently appear.
These descriptions reflect genuine admiration.
But there is an important distinction between celebrating someone’s resilience and expecting that person to display resilience constantly.
People living with serious medical conditions are sometimes placed under enormous emotional pressure by the way their stories are presented.
They may be praised for smiling during treatment or speaking positively about difficult circumstances.
That praise can be well intentioned.
However, it may also create an unrealistic expectation that they should always remain cheerful.
Real emotional strength is more complicated.
A person can be courageous and frightened.
They can be determined and exhausted.
They can feel grateful for medical care while resenting the necessity of repeated procedures.
They can enjoy life while acknowledging that certain experiences are deeply unfair.
None of these emotions cancel out the others.
For a child who has experienced repeated fractures, there may be moments when the most appropriate response is simply to acknowledge pain.
